Lonely as hell

This past week has been very hard. Bobbys unit lost an aircraft a few days ago. His best friend was on it and was critically injured. Bobby is OK physically but that accident hit very close to home for him and he is having a hard time dealing with it. The day he posted that "if you heard it on the news that yes it is our unit and no its not good". And then not hearing from him for a few hours and then when he answered my are you alright with a no then another couple of hours of not hearing from him. That was the hardest  day so far. I have never been so scared, restless, upset as I was waiting for news. The closer he gets to coming home the harder of a time I am having. After the accident I now fear for him constantly and I try to think about other things but the fact still hangs there that HE could have been in the aircraft that day and HE could have been critically injured. I want my man to come home and in one piece. If something happens to him and he comes home broken I will still love him just as much but you know, the preference would be all in working order. This whole time I have been worried about what this war could do to him physically, I never really stopped to think about the toll it would take emotionally and mentally. I know he came back from his first tour in Iraq with very few mental scrapes and bruises because his home life was falling apart while he was gone. i just thought that he would come back the same way. Just back into a better family situation. I don't know what he is going to be like when he comes home. He came home from R&R fine just very tired but now he has dealt with more. Lost a good friend, that does something to people.
I miss him so much and its getting harder and harder not having him here. I just want a hug. I just want to be held by him. I want to hear his voice, I want to smell him in a hug. I want to be with him again. It physically hurts not having him here. I get sad at happy times because I cant share them with him.I want to have someone to lay with at night and talk to for hours. I miss his stupid airsoft BBS everywhere and dripping over his boots he left in the middle of the living room. I have fallen in love with him more in the 10 months he has been gone than the 8 month we were together before he left. I dont know how but we did. Now I cant imagine life without him. I love him plain and simple.